


Your Heads Only Medicine

by Dianascanary



Series: A USWNT Universe [3]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Female Character of Color, I Don't Even Know, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-01-13 07:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21240674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dianascanary/pseuds/Dianascanary
Summary: Alex Morgan has a few things she's keeping from her teammates. Things like who she's in love with, and how she lost her, and how she needs help getting her back, or maybe she never really had her in the first place. Whichever it is, she knows she's made a few mistakes over the years and it's time to start fixing them.





	1. 24 Floors

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is about as canon as I can make it. The only major difference is probably relationships. Going to be a bit different than the playfulness of The Air We Breathe.
> 
> The song is 24 Floors by The Maine. The song should probably be listened to with a trigger warning, but that doesn't translate to the story.

_2016___

__ __ _[If you were here with me_  
_You'd say,_  
_"You don't wanna die tonight_  
_Take one more breath to clear your mind_  
_Every moment's relevant_  
_Bittersweet and delicate_  
_Tomorrow may not come again"]_______________

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her knee hurts. It always does. She's gotten used to it. She's gotten used to a lot of things. It's her own fault, so she's not going to say anything. It's her fault she's sitting on the poorly carpeted hotel room floor by herself. Her knees tucked into her chest and her hands gripping the smuggled bottle of Hennessy like her life depends on it. She didn't used to like the taste of Hennessy before _her_. She still doesn't, and maybe that's one of the reasons she's all alone.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her phone rings. It's Kelley. The ringtone made it obvious. The defender decided it would be a good idea to record herself singing, "ALEX PICK UP YOUR FUCKING CELL, IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!", in her best screamo impression. It was very effective sometimes. Most of the time Alex kept her phone on silent, and maybe that was another reason she was all alone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her phone, luckily, hadn't been very far from her. It had just taken some mildly clumsy stretching to reach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Hello?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"I just saw her leave. I'm so sorry, Al. Do you want me to come over?" Kelley asked, her voice much more soothing compared to her ringtone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex nodded, then remembered a tad too late that Kelley couldn't see her. "I'm on my way, Alex. Don't worry."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex nodded again because who even cared anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kelley knocked on the door softly, Alex scrambled to it, only stumbling once. She opened the door with minimal trouble. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Kelley gave her that look she knew she was going to give her. That look of absolute pity and empathy, that look that said 'I'm so sorry, and I wish I could fix everything that's happened to you even though it is undoubtedly your fault and your fault alone'. Or maybe it didn't say all of that, Alex just wanted it to. She wanted someone to yell at her, kick her in the kneecaps, anything to make her feel something other than sorrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"She left me." She's not sure she even actually said those words outloud, but Kelley's face softens even more if possible and she just gathers Alex in her arms and soothes. And Alex begins to cry, she cries like she just learned the meaning of the word and needed to taste it on her tongue a couple of times before truly grasping it. She cries. She sobs. She bawls. She feels. She feels for the first time in months and maybe that was the main reason she was alone, save for Kelley._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _And it was her own fault. She asked for this. She asked to be angry and alone in a hotel room in Rio. And her wish was granted immediately, so why was she so damn upset?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _☆☆☆☆_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _An Hour Before___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She licks her lips as she opens the hotel room door. She's not happy. They lost. The lost the Olympics, and so fucking early. She could've played better, she should've played better._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She's being waited for. She doesn't want to be. She doesn't want to be waited for, or talk to anyone. She just wants to be angry and alone in a hotel room in Rio._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She was never one for controlling her temper. It didn't help that, it seemed like she was always suspected to. It wasn't fair. Nothing ever was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _There's a general chaos about the room. As far as anyone knows, she lucked out with a room to herself, but that isn't really the case. There was only one bed and they had been sharing it. It was made when she left, but now looks a hurricane rushed through it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The woman she had been occupying the bed with came into view slowly, and as more of the scene appeared, Alex wished she'd have never entered the room at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"What are you doing?" Alex knows what she's doing, but that doesn't mean she has to accept it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The dark-skinned woman startles a bit. Alex always was stealthy. She glanced breifly over her shoulder, then resumed her task._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Packing." Her voice is sharper than it has ever been. It cuts Alex open like a heated scalpel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Why?" It's ironic, she knows, she just said she wanted to be alone, but maybe she didn't know what she was talking about._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The woman, just a year her junior, turns on her with fury in her eyes. Alex would have swore they turned a different color if she believed in that kind of thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Why do you think, Alex? It's almost 2 in the morning. I've been sitting here waiting for you. I'm always waiting for you." Her arms are crossed protectively over her chest, like she's afraid if she doesn't restrain it, her heart will burst out of her chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"We lost."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"I know, Alex. I was there. And then I was here, waiting to comfort you, to hold you. To help you with whatever you needed. But you went out with God knows who. I know it wasn't the team because Kelley's still here. With Hope. Trying to do what I was going to do with you." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex stares at her. She does that a lot. Half admiring her beauty and half trying to figure out what to say because the woman often left her speechless. She's not sure why she's doing it now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Do you even care? About me, about us? I love you, Alex. You know that. And yet-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"Eden, I-"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"No. Let me speak. It's getting old, it really is. I feel like I'm the only one in this and I'm done. I'm just done. I know this has been a bad day for you and this is only going to make it worse, but I can't do this anymore." Eden is crying now, she feels bad. This is self-preservation, but she still feels bad for Alex. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex isn't crying, she'll save that for later._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"What can I do to get you to stay?" Alex asked, her jaw is clenched and she can't look Eden in the eye, but she means it. She wants to know, and she'll try her best to fix this. To fix them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Eden looks like she's been waiting to hear those words her entire life, her answer is quick, like she planned on it being asked, "Tell me you love me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex's eyes widened. She could've done literally anything else, but that. She would've walked on hot coals, bench pressed Hope, she would've even torn up her contract right then and there. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _But what Eden asked of her she couldn't give her, and not because she didn't love her, because she didn't deserve Eden loving her back. Not when Eden's been giving this her all and Alex has been giving this her some._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _So she stares, she watches the light leave Eden's eyes, and her heart shatter into peices, and yet she looks just as stunning as ever. Eden Young she have to walk around with a sign that says "Don't touch the art"._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex can tell by the look in Eden's eye that if she doesn't move in the next three seconds she's going to get hit with something. And Eden has a pretty good arm, but Alex doesn't move and just lets her herself get nailed in the face with a shirt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _It's her shirt, well it was Eden's for awhile, but apparently it's hers again now. Eden stole it months ago and outright told Alex she was never giving it back. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Maybe they were both liars._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Eden grabs her suitcase, off the bed. It's heavy, and it thuds against the ground. Alex carried it in for her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She's almost all the way past Alex before the foward grabs her hand softly. Eden pulls away just as gently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"It's probably best if you lose my number."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Alex never takes her advice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _The door closed softly, but it still sounded like a gunshot to Alex. She throws her phone somewhere in the room. She thinks about punching the wall but she doesn't feel like explaining that to anybody._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Her next best option is the alcohol that she knows, Eden left in the mini fridge. Apparently, it tastes better cold. She soon finds out that's a lie._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _She sat on the window sill, there wasn't much of a view, but at least she had something to do while she drank._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _Eventually, she'll fall over onto the floor and sit there. Then Kelley will call, and she'll stumble to open the door, and she'll fall into her arms, then, and only then, will she cry. She'll blubber like a baby._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _But, until then, she'll just drink._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _[24 floors_  
_Up in some hotel room]_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. The One That Got Away

January 3rd, 2019

[In another life, I would be your girl  
We keep all our promises, be us against the world  
In another life, I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away  
The one that got away]

The Sun is out, as it often is in Los Angeles. She's not downtown often, and she kind of hates it. Too many people, a thing she used to like but, things change. She's only here because Kelley wanted to come, and she'd do just about anything for the girl. Ali and Ashlyn are there too for reasons she was told but quickly forgot.

Kelley bounces up and down a bit as they walk down North Highland Avenue. She's has no idea where they're going and she has a feeling Kelley doesn't either.

Her hands are in her pockets and her head angled down, if only to not draw attention to herself. Sometimes, she looks up, to look both ways before she crosses the street. And this time, when she looks up to make sure she's not going to dramatically roll up onto someone's windshield, she finds it all for not.

Kelley stops bouncing, and Alex stops moving, and Ali bumps into Alex's back, who then stumbles back into Ashlyn.

Alex just stares at her, like she normally does. Her mouth a little agape.

"Alex." Eden smiles politely. Waving a bit at Kelley. Alex does absolutely nothing.

It's been three years give or take and Eden looks just as beautiful as ever, if not better, and Alex still finds herself speechless.

"H-hi." The forward curses herself for stuttering. The last thing she wants to do is alert Eden to exactly how much her mere presence disarms her.

"How are you guys doing?"

Alex tries to ignore the stinging behind her eyes, and the burning of Eden's gaze all at the same time.

"We're, uh, fine. How are you?" It's an odd question to ask, she's not sure she wants to know how her ex is doing. She's not even really sure how she herself is doing.

Eden, under all of the sheer beauty, looks more relaxed than anxious, but she could be wrong. Alex could normally read her like her favorite book, but it seems the words have changed, they've morphed into a language that Alex can't decipher.

"I'm good. Been better, but I'm...good. You look good." Eden's eyebrows crease, she looks genuine. Her lips form a sort of a wispy smile and she breaks eye contact breifly. Glancing in the direction she came.

Ashlyn and Ali exchange furtive glances with each. Alex Morgan was many things, but self-conscious was not one of them. And yet, this woman had said a minimum of three sentences to her and Alex looked like she wanted to fold in on herself, collapse into a heap and have Ashlyn drag her away dramatically. The situation is intriguing yet, terrifying all at the same time.

"Thank you. You do, too. You look happy." Alex mumbled that last part under her breathe. It seemed like the right thing to say when you meet your ex who you've been trying to forget about for the past three years and never managed to succeed.

The corner of Eden's mouth cinches up, not in a smile or smirk. She looks like she wants to say something, like she wants to deny it but ultimately thinks against it.

Instead she turns to Kelley, who looks almost relieved to see her old friend, "How are you, Kelley? How's Hope?"

Kelley glimpsed at Alex before answering. Alex is still staring and she'll more than likely never stop. "I'm good. We're good. She's been through some things, but she's Hope. She'll be fine."

Eden nods earnestly. She heard what happened after that night. After that night she left, she wanted to check in on them, but it didn't seem like her place anymore.

"That's good." She glances at her watch to avoid the look Alex is giving her. That same look she always gave her.

"Um, well it was nice to see you guys. I have to go." She walks around the group with a smile. Alex watches her go, her mouth open in question.

Kelley doesn't speak until Eden is out of sight. She can see Ashlyn's and Ali's questioning looks but ignores them for the time being, "Alex?"

Alex, who still has that fresh "I just saw a ghost" look, only shakes her head in response. All three girls seem to get the sentiment of that.

Alex continues to walk down the sidewalk in the direction they were originally headed. She makes sure not to look behind her. Not that she'd see anything anyway.

☆☆☆☆

August 2015

She's doesn't have the slightest clue why she's in this surf shop. It's fairly new, ran by a hipster couple that she couldn't care less about. The product seems to replicate the simplicity of the decor and Alex doesn't think she appreciates that.

There's boards, hooked onto the back wall. She walks over to observe, not because she's in the market, she just likes looking at pretty colors and shiny things.

There's a woman out the corner of her eye, a woman who clearly has no idea what she's doing. Alex takes a step closer, maybe to offer some help, or maybe to just stare some more.

The woman, turns to the side a bit, not quite facing Alex, but not quite facing away from her either. And Alex's eyes almost bug out of her head. 

The woman is gorgeous. It's cliche she knows, but she doesn't have a better word. She wants to say something, anything but she can only stare with her mouth wide open as if she's a fish out of water gasping for air.

"Are you going to keep staring at me, drooling over yourself? Or are you going to suck it up, literally, and talk to me?" The woman never tears her eyes from the product she's observing, startling Alex, and undoubtedly trying to throw her off her guard. 

Unfortunately, it works.

"T-t-talk to you." This is where the memories begin to compete. Eden insisted she stuttered, Alex had no recollection of that. It has been acknowledged that it is a possibility that she purposely blocked that out.

The woman is silent for a few moments, probably waiting for Alex to say something. But, Alex continues to gape like an idiot, and the dark-skinned woman takes pity on her.

She finally turns to fully face her, she holds out her hand, a small smile dancing on her lips, "Eden."

Alex shakes it, "Alex." Eden hands are soft and Alex has to will herself to let go.

"Well, Alex. You mind helping me pick out a surfboard? It's probably obvious but I have no idea what I'm doing." Her smiles turns a bit self-conscious. A look that Alex feels, in the short two minutes she's known her, does not belong.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but it is obvious. Walking in here was your first mistake. I'll cut you a deal. I'll help you with your surfing endeavors if you grab a coffee or something with me." Alex isn't sure where the sudden burst of confidence manifests itself from, but she isn't complaining.

Eden places a finger on her chin and begins to tap faux thoughtfully, "Fine, you have yourself a deal." Alex's smile brightens that much more.

"Great. First order of business, we get out of here as quickly as possible. You pick one of those boards, I guarantee you it will fall into peices as soon as it hits the water." Alex breifly wondered it the place had even seen any actual costumers until Eden. 

"Oh, God. Thank you. I imagine that wouldn't be very pretty." Alex nodded along as the two left the store side by side.

☆☆☆☆

January 7th, 2019

Alex has not been focused. It showed in her performance. Kelley had looked like she wanted to say something, and Ashlyn actually did say something. Though, none of it was anything Alex wanted to hear.

Now, they sat in the hotel room Alex was conveniently shared with Kelley. Ashlyn had broken in a few minutes earlier, Ali's face cleverly placed on her phone so Alex couldn't say no to letting her in.

The TV is on but no one is watching it, Alex, however, is pretending to. Ashlyn, and subsequently Ali, see right through it. Out the corner of her eye she can see Ashlyn urging Ali to say something first. She assumes Ali is saying something back, but she's not completely sure as the phone is facing away from her.

Exactly three seconds later, yes she was counting, Ashlyn opens her mouth. Alex has half a mind to walk out of the room, but Kelley gives her a look that says 'Sit the fuck down and let's talk about this'. She has no idea when Kelley became the adult in this friendship.

"So...who was the chick that made you look like an idiot back in LA?" Ashlyn asks with a sly smile on her face. Ali immediately yells at her.

Alex rolled her eyes, it was probably the least callous way Ashlyn would have said anything to her really.

She figures it was going to come out at some point, and it might as well be on her own terms, beside of all the people she could 'come out' to, Ashlyn and Ali were probably her best bet. Of course, she has a feeling as soon as she starts admitting things to others she's going to have to admit things to herself.

"My ex." She almost chokes on the last word. It's been three years and she still isn't able to stomach that. It's been three years and she still hasn't come to terms with the reality of it all. It's been three years and she's still in love with Eden Young.

"YES! We got another one! The gay agenda is really working. That only leaves, like...well the rest of the team but we're close. Ali, our plan is working." Ashlyn whispers that last part into the phone.

Alex rolled her eyes, "See. This is why I didn't want to say anything."

"Ashlyn, stop. Alex is trying to open up to you and you're scaring her." Kelley admonished, Ashlyn only shrugged and kept whispering to Ali.

"Her name's Eden, we dated for almost a year. I loved her, was too afraid to tell her, she broke up with me. I went on about my life. Or tried to at least. There, end of story." Alex played with the remote cradled in her hands.

"You don't sound very over it." Ali pointed out.

Alex took a deep breath, "Because, I'm not." She leaves it at that. Hoping for the topic tonbe dropped. Apparently, she forgot whom she was speaking with.

"You want her back."

It's not a question, though even it if was Alex wouldn't deny it. She shrugged indifferently.

"Ok, then it's settled. We'll get her back for you." Ashlyn stated matter of factly. She patted Alex's shoulder proudly.

"And how are we going to do that exactly? I'm pretty sure she hates me, and you heard her. She said she was good." Alex pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I haven't thought that far. It wouldn't really work until we're back in the states, anyway. Also, judging by the way she was looking at you, she most definitely does not hate you. Also, she's didn't say she was good, she said 'I've been better, but I'm....good.' She lied to your face and you let her." Ashlyn explained, Ali nodded with her. Even Kelley, couldn't disagree at the benefit of her friend.

"Fine. Say I agree, what's in this for you." Alex said with a slight smile.

"We get you your girl back, you play better, we win. And I like winning. Also, knowing your happy is also a plus I guess." Ashlyn shrugged.

Alex took a deep breath, "Okay, knock yourself out. But if she ends up beating my ass, which I would absolutely let her do, it's all your fault."

Ashlyn sits ups straighter and salutes, "Yes, Captain. You hear that, Ali? I get to play matchmaker again."

"What was the first time?"

"Who do you think was the one that got Hope's head out of her ass? It was really hard. There was a lot of pulling. So much pulling. But, I did it." Kelley blushed from her place on the other bed.

"You must be proud of yourself." Alex said sarcastically, Ashlyn smiled triumphantly.

"I am. But enough of that, Operation: Get Babyhorse a Girlfriend is a go!" Ashlyn runs out of the room with a determine look on her face. 

"This is going to end badly for me, isn't it?"

Kelley smiled apologetically, "With Ashlyn? It's hard to say."

Alex sighed deeply, letting the force of it push her backwards onto the bed, "What have I gotten myself into?"

[In another life, I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away  
The one that got away]


	3. Lights Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait y'all!

[What do you mean?  
I'm sorry by the way  
Never coming around  
Be so sweet if things just stayed the same]

Eden huffed as she entered her home. There was laughter as she placed her purse down on the small table in the foyer and rummaged for her car keys to place them on the hook.

The stray family members strewn about her house served to make her smile. Which was a relief after the day she had. 

She had always thought about the possibility of running into Alex again. She figured it would have been closer to when they broke up, but better late than never she supposed.

She tries not to think of the look on Alex's face when she spotted her. The look Eden was sure to be giving back to her. It had been three years for christ sake. She didn't need to deal with this.

Naomi, her younger sister, came over to greet her as she walked in. Her daughter waddled behind her. Naomi and her husband, Mathias, were the last of the family to leave after the christmas and new year celebration. Her other 3 siblings and their family back in their own homes already.

Naomi was always just slow.

"Aunty E!" The three year old reached up towards her Aunt excitedly.

"Hello, my little chocolate drop! Were you good for your mommy and daddy while I was gone?"

"Yeah! I took a bath." Madison laid her head down on Eden's chest, seeming to get tired in the middle of her sentence. It was probably a result of the bath, those normally put her out like a light.

Eden cooed at the girl as she followed her sister into her kitchen. She set about rummaging through the cupboards as Naomi stared at her. 

"Have you seen the Lucky Charms?" Eden asked quietly, as not to wake the sleeping child on her shoulder. 

Naomi pointed to the spot next to her. She had looked right at the box about three seconds before. Naomi looked like she wanted to say something but kept it to herself for the time being.

"I thought you were on a diet." Naomi said with a raised eyebrow. She grabbed her daughter away from her sister so she had free use of her arms.

"I am." Eden said casually, she continued to prepare her dinner, she looked at the clock, "but when you have a metabolism as good as mine, and a personal trainer that cost about as much as a used car, you can afford to cheat sometimes." Eden smirked cheekily.

Naomi rolled her eyes. Something was off. She could sense it. It was like some kind of disturbance in the sisterly bond that they shared. Their youngest sister, Sarai, could probably feel it too and would be calling soon.

She sighed as Eden missed her mouth for the third time, instead her lucky charms ending up splattering back into the bowl.

"What's wrong?" Naomi questioned. Her eyes narrowed at her older sister. Mentally daring her to lie.

"Nothing." Eden frowned. Whatever Naomi thought she knew, she very much did not.

"Don't lie to me. I'll call mom. Something is wrong. You look like you saw a ghost and don't want to yell anybody because they'll think you're crazy."

Eden briefly thinks of the benefits of lying to her sister. Affer much deliberation she decides the cons outdo the pros and she really is scared of her mom.

"I saw...Alex today." Eden takes a deep breath. Today held a record for how many times she had said the woman's name in years.

Naomi's eyes widen and she immediately feels a bit bad for asking, but Eden was going to end up letting that eat away at her.

"Oh, Eden." She wishes she knew what to say. There was an unspoken rule that no one spoke about the breakup. At all. 

It took awhile for the family to get used to the soccer player not being around. She thinks their mother might have taken it harder than Eden. She complained for weeks, telling Eden she had made a huge mistake and she would regret it.

And of course her mother had been correct, but she didn't need to know that.

"Are you okay?" Naomi watched her older sister's face twist into several different emotions.

"I...don't know. She looks...good? Like she's doing fine on her own. Without me. But I also can't help but feel like we've got unfinished business. Like we're not done yet. But, it was three years ago, and I don't think I can open up my heart again like that. Not to her. Just for it to be thrown into a wood chipper all over again." Eden explained, her face looked a bit pained. She was probably biting the inside of her cheek. A nervous tick all four siblings had picked up from their dad.

"You miss her. You still love her."

Eden shook her head solemnly, "But she never loved me."

Naomi frowned some more. Somehow, she didn't believe that was quite true.

☆☆☆☆

August 2015

She had always felt the most relaxed when she was in the ocean. It didn't matter what she was doing. As long as she could smell the saltwater and hear the crashing waves, she was at peace.

She thinks she's going to have to add Eden Young's laughter to the list of things that relaxes her. Because there is nothing like it in the entire world.

Eden brushed a stray soaked braid away from her face as her head broke the surface.

She had fallen off the surfboard for the 15th time that day. Alex said she was making progress but she didn't quite believe her.

The first time she had fallen and went under she had a brief panic attack. Apparently, she knew how to swim, but had conveniently forgotten that.

Alex had easily pulled her up by her upper arm. She laughed through the entire ordeal and the only reason she's still alive is because Eden had decided it was cute when the brunette snorted and her grey eyes filled with tears.

As Eden climbs back onto her pink and yellow shortboard for the nth time, Alex suggests that they end their lesson there.

"You might be full after swallowing all that water, but there's a nice seafood place up the beach if you want to get some real food." Alex deftly avoids the splash of water aimed for her.

"Haha. And yes, I do want to get real food. Though, I think my thirst is quenched for days to come." Eden crosses her arms petulantly.

"You have terrible balance. It's fine. We'll work on it."

☆☆☆☆

It's a small family owned place that Alex has clearly been to many times. The staff treat her like family and she doesn't even have to tell the waitress what she wants. The waitress flicks her eyes to Eden curiously.

For such a small restaurant, the menu is huge, and Eden's eyes cross at all the possibilities. Alex eventually takes pity on her and orders for her. She assumes it's the same thing Alex got for herself. The waitress nods politely and then retreats.

"Thank you."

Alex looks up from where she was peering through the straw of her drink, "For what?"

"For helping me. With the surfing and just now." Eden smiles shyly, she's sure she'd be blushing if she were that kind of woman.

"It's no problem." She shrugged with a smile.

The waitress brings over appetizers that Alex points out she didn't ask for. The waitress promptly ignores her.

"So, why'd you want to learn how to surf?" Alex asked, it was something she had been meaning to inquire about amd this seemed like as good a time as any.

"A shoot." Eden says nonchalantly.

"A shoot?"

"A photoshoot. I'm a model." Eden seems to shrink a bit in her seat.

"Well I could've told you that." Alex says with a smirk.

"Flatterer. I have a shoot coming up for some beach and swim apparel company and they want me on a paddleboard. I'm just a perfectionist and decided to take it a step further."

Alex nodded, she understood perfectionism. It was probably her middle name.

"I'm a soccer player." She hates saying that. It sounds so pretentious. Especially, when people start to guess levels and she has to tell them she plays for the fucking country.

"I know, Alex."

Alex sputtered, "You know?"

"I'm not stupid, Alex. Besides, I do preliminary background checks on all the people I go out with. Dad was a cop. Also, I played in college, at Cornell. It was kind of hard not hear about you."

Alex sighed, she's not sure why she's surprised Eden knows what she does, they had just came off a world cup win, her face was everywhere, "What did this background check tell you?"

Eden was quiet for a moment, "Your name should start with a 'J'. You're older than me by almost exactly a year. We grew up 45 minutes away from each other. And, you're really, really nice to look at, but I kind of already knew that one." Eden's eyes dilate a bit, Alex lifts an eyebrow a bit but otherwise doesn't say anything about it.

"Well, this thing seems like it really knows it's stuff. Did it tell you if we'd have a second date?" She smirks, proud of herself for slipping that in there so smoothly.

"No." Alex's face drops a bit, "It did tell me that we'd have a third one, though."

The soccer player's face scrunched up curiously. Eden giggled at her confusion, "Look around, Alex. This a date. So, that means our coffee outing was the first, this is the second, and a date after this would be the third."

Alex thought about it for a second. She supposed they were on a date right then. Things just seemed so natural, so easy with Eden that she hadn't even noticed.

The waitress comes back with their meals a few minutes later. They talk and laugh for the rest of the evening.

☆☆☆☆

The two walked side by side as they approached Eden's house. 

The large beach house stood on the bank, Alex stared up at it with an impressed glance. She walked with Eden until they reached the front door.

"So, this is me." Eden shrugged. This seemed like an odd time to end their date. They were enjoying each other and she didn't want it to end.

"Yeah, it's nice." Alex bit her lip nervously as she stared back at Eden.

She's being partially illuminated by the yellow light of the porch lamp, but it's all Alex needs to recognize that look she's getting. Her eyes breifly flick to Eden's full lips.

"So, did you wan-" Alex isn't really sure why she started talking in the first place, but she is forever grateful for Eden shutting her up.

If you ask Eden, she'll tell you kissing Alex Morgan is like drowning in gold. There's liquid in your lungs, but there's something elegant and expensive about your death.

Alex will tell you she forgot, just to kiss to Eden again for a breif reminder. Then she'll tell you it's like being down in game by three points in the 80th minute, and suddenly you're leading the strike to game winning goals.

"Do you want to come inside?" Eden's breath is shallow and her lips are a bit swollen. Alex vows to keep them that way for at least the rest of the night.

"Absolutely."

[All the lights couldn't put out the dark  
Runnin' through my heart  
Lights up and they know who you are  
Know who you are  
Do you know who you are?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! And maybe what you want to see as far as flashbacks go.


	4. Never Really Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support! I love the feedback. Also, yes I know I need to update The Air We Breathe and I'll get to it. Eventually. Also Also, I have a new Hope story coming soon. A few chapters are already written. Here's the synopsis:
> 
> Melody Bordeaux is called up to the USWNT a few months before the 2016 Olympics, she gets to know everyone on team, especially Hope Solo, but when the back half of 2016 starts, their relationship begins to dwindle as Hope becomes a pariah amongst her own teammates and an enemy of herself. 
> 
> So keep on the lookout for that. Okay bye.

/Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over  
And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again  
And I'll have to get over you all over again/

Eden frowned at the knock on her door. It was 9 in the morning and unless one of her siblings forgot they had a key, she wasn't expecting anybody.

Times like this she wishes she had a peep hole. Though, when Esau insisted she get one, she claimed if there was a murderer at the door she'd want to be surprised, not to see her death coming.

She opened the door with a flourish. Her enthusiasm diminishes quickly when the recognition kicks in.

"What are you doing here?"

Alex sighed as she picked herself up off the doorframe she'd been leaning on precariously. The breeze picks up and takes a few strands of hair with it.

"Would you believe me if I said I wasn't sure?"

"Yes." Eden says simply. She knows Alex. It was a lot of do now, ask questions later with her. She often found herself in situations she wouldn't have been in if she wasn't so damn impulsive. Though, that very trait could be a factor to why they got together in the first place.

Alex flicks her eyes past Eden pointedly. Eden lets out a sigh before stepping to the side. Alex walks into the house with a relieved expression on her face.

She looks around for a second before speaking, "You haven't changed anything." It slips out as just an observation, and it is just that, but she'd be lying if it didn't fill her with some kind of slim, foolish hope.

"Nothing needed changing." Eden crossed her arms. If she was a bit more cynical she'd wonder if Naomi set this up. But sometimes things were just too coincidental. This was all   
too weird to attribute to her.

"Even that atrocious vase."

"I only kept it there because you hated it. Now, I barely think about it. It's just there. Like, a lot of things in this house."

Alex just nods as she continues to browse. She knows she's wearing her welcome thin, but this is what Ashlyn told her to do. She needed to establish a connection. Get Eden used to the idea of being in close proximity again.

Of course, Ashlyn probably wasn't thinking show up to her house unannounced. She was more than likely thinking "accidentally" bump into while she's exiting Starbucks or something. She should know by now, Alex only does the absolute most.

"What do you want, Alex?" Eden sounds tired. It causes the forward to look up from her perusing. She crosses the distance, slowly coming to a stop in front of Eden.

"How are you? I mean, really. How are you?" Her eyes swim with concern and suddenly Eden feels like she's slipping under with no lifejacket to assist her. So, she takes a step back.

"I'm getting there." Eden doesn't sound so sure of herself. Her left arm is crossed over chest and rubbing her right. It's another one of those nervous ticks.

She knows how this looks. She knows how this sounds. And it even may be true but that doesn't take away from the fact that she's absolutely terrified of Alex Morgan. Not physically. She's sure she could kick the girl's ass if she needed to.

But figuratively, Alex had been absolutely reckless with her heart, and it's been three years but the sutures still haven't healed yet. Besides, don't previously broken bones break easier?

She's surprised she didn't collapse into a heap upon opening the door.

Alex takes another step forward, "I'm sorry. I don't think I ever told you that. I'm so fucking sorry. I never wanted to lose you."

Eden takes another step back, "Could've fooled me. Because, towards the end there it seemed like you couldn't wait to get rid of me."

Alex steps forward and shakes her head so vehemently Eden thinks she can hear her brain sloshing around. 

"I didn't have my priorities straight. My career was at the top and you weren't. That year was horrible. We lost the Olympics. Then, I lost you. The day after you left, I did some well overdue reflecting. I thought about how I had been treating you like shit those last couple of months and how you had only been gone for about 4 hours, but I missed you more than ever. And, I should have told you that then. It's been three years and I'm still crazy about you."

Eden stepped back, only to be stopped by her front door. She takes a deep shuddering breath, "Those are all beautiful words, Alex, but where does that leave us now? That would have been great to hear then, but now?"

Alex moved to stand as close to Eden as she possibly could. Their foreheads touched a bit as Alex ducked her head down to look into Eden's eyes.

"I know you think I'm going to do it again. But let me regain your trust. Please." 

"You're going to have to work your ass off, Morgan." Eden poked her in the chest. She's not exactly sure how Alex got into her head that easily, but she has a feeling it has to do with the fact she never really left.

Alex doesn't answer, she instead decides to take advantage of the position they were in. She ducks her head down further and captures Eden's lips with her own. 

It's impulsive. It's so utterly her that she can't even really be mad at herself. Yes, sex will definitely complicate the agreement they just made seconds ago. But Eden was just so sexy, and what was she supposed to do? Not have sex with her? 

"Does this remind you of something?" Alex asks with a devious smirk on her lips. She kissed down her neck as Eden panted for breath.

"Our first t-time together?" Eden's eyes rolled into the back of her head when Alex sucked on that spot just below her ear. That spot the athlete knew made her a delirious.

"Yep. Right against this very door. You couldn't walk straight for two days." Alex's lips trail back to Eden's as her hands travel to her jean covered ass. Her hands drag slowly to the backs of Eden's thighs, pulling them up to wrap around her waist.

"Either we can reminisce or we can fuck. Take your pick."

Alex rolls her eyes and resumes her task.

☆☆☆☆

2015

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Adrienne asked as she watched her best friend smile seductively at the fourth person to buy her a drink.

"Just because we're dating, doesn't mean she's my girlfriend." Eden's jaw clenched a bit. Adrienne almost laughed in her face. It was clear Eden did not want it to be that way.

The Hispanic woman threw her arm around her friend's shoulders with a shrug, "You look great, by the way."

Eden smiled shyly. She was in a simple, short bright red dress that she couldn't wear a bra nor panties with. If she was honest, she felt a bit exposed as she sat at the bar, but the free alcohol was slowly loosening up some inhibitions.

She sipped on her rum and coke as she patiently waited for Alex to join them. She had asked her out to this club under the guise of wanting to get know her friends, but it was obvious Alex just wanted to see her drunk.

Adrienne frowned as someone tapped on her shoulder. She removed her arm from Eden's shoulder as she turned around, only to be highly confused when she discovered there was no one behind her.

Eden jumped as a soft kiss was pressed to her cheek. She glared at Alex for a second before giving way to a smile. She stood up from the stool to give Alex a hug.

"Hey, babe." Alex spoke a bit louder to be heard over the music. Her eyes peered down to take in Eden's outift. She swallowed harshly and chewed her lip a bit.

"You look great." Her voice is a bit raspy and her pupils are blown.

Eden blushed outright. It was different comimg from Alex. She didn't wear the dress for Adrienne.

Speaking of. Adrienne clears her throat lightly. Eden has to hold back her eye roll.

"Alex, this is Adrienne, my best friend. Adrienne this is Alex my-" Eden paused. They hadn't talked about it really, not for a lack of trying, but they both seemed a bit hesitant to move forward for some reason. Or at least, they did.

"Girlfriend." Alex finished for her. Eden blushed once more.

"Girlfriend. Great. Now we all know each other. C'mon! Let's go dance." Eden all but drags Alex to the packed dance floor.

☆☆☆☆

Maybe it's the dress, or the dancing so closely together, or the fact that Adrienne keeps glancing at Eden the same way she does that causes her to so easily agree to ushering themselves out of the building when Eden suggests it. Whatever it is, she's grateful.

They make it to Eden's place with the help of a harried taxi driver in record time.

They're both a bit tipsy but it's ultimately what gets them through the door. And then, in Eden's case, pressed back into it.

/My head still takes me back  
Thought it was done  
But I guess it's never really over/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comment please!


	5. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

It's what you do  
It's what you see  
I know if I'm haunting you, you must be haunting me

It's the principle of the thing. Just because she had gotten used to the feeling of waking up in a large unnecessarily expensive bed alone, didn't mean she liked it. 

In Alex's defense, she had left her a note saying that she had stepped out for a moment to grab food and would be back within the hour. But again it was the principle.

She had fell alseep with Alex next to her and she would have liked to wake up with Alex next to her. She's not sure what she expected.

It had left her feeling a bit cheap. 

The reason she was in the mess was fifty percent her fault, sure, but Alex always had this thing about her that Eden could seldom resist. She was often sucked in and drowned within seconds of Alex opening her mouth and last night was no exception.

It was a mistake, sleeping with Alex, but she doesn't regret it and maybe that's where her problem stems. 

She'll never be able to get back to where she was with Alex. She's not even sure she wants to, but wouldn't it be nice? 

Eden has come to terms with the fact that she is quite literally a living paradox. A contradiction on legs, but that's what loving Alex Morgan feels like.

The front door opens and closes with the sounds of shuffling and mumbling following.

While coming to terms with the absolute clusterfuck that her feelings are, she's also been resigned to the fact that none of this will ever be easy and she might as well face it head on like she does most things in life.

So, she grabs a haphazardly placed robe and pads down the steps. Offhandedly, she wonders why the fuck she keeps it so cold in her house.

"You left me."

Alex looks up from where she's spreading her purchases on the kitchen table. She looks like she wants to say something, but she has the better sense to keep it to herself.

"I left a note." There's a tension that's practically choking the two of them. Eden suddenly wonders if Alex really only left to get food.

"Yeah, and I only saw it after my breif panic attack." Alex smiles apologetically. She gestures to Eden's clothing with a raised eyebrow.

"Forget you had a guest?"

"No. Just wanted to see if you could focus for more than three minutes so we could hold an actual conversation."

"Hm. I deserved that." She paused for a second, suddenly remembering she had gotten them breakfast that could go cold any minute. "I got some breakfast sandwiches and donuts."

"I'm on a diet."

"That's never stopped you before."

Eden only shrugs before digging into the food.

"People kill for that type of metabolism."

"You're a professional athlete, Alex. This doesn't concern you."

Silence overtakes them. Eden seems to be fine with it, but Alex is fidgeting. She supposes it's because the forward likes the sound of her own voice.

"Sorry about last night." She keeps her head down, glaring holes in her half eaten egg white sandwich. Eden watches her through her own eyelashes. Her face is neutral as she picks at a twisted glaze donut.

"If I didn't want it to happen, I wouldn't have let it." 

Alex lets out a slow breathe. She's still a bit pensive. Eden's eyes trace over her face with scrutiny. She can practically hear Eden roll her eyes a few seconds later.

"Oh my god, Alex, just ask!"

"Did you-have you-"

"Have I slept with anybody since we broke up? I'm human, Alex. It's been three fucking years." Eden crosses her arms defensively, her chest expands with a indignant huff. 

That cheap feeling is back. That half jealous, half angry glint in Alex's eyes makes her feel just a bit like a whore, for lack of a better word. Like she was supposed to lock herself in her room and become a hermit.

She pulls away from the kitchen counter sharply. Her robe catches the air as she spins around, headed towards the staircase. She's sure Alex is going to follow her, so she continues on her way. 

She catches the corner straight into her room, then into her closet. She suddenly feels very naked and exposed.

Alex comes to rest at the doorway. Eden can feel her eyes on almost every inch of her body. She searches for clothing that much faster.

"Do you mind?" It's a bit harsher than she originally intends, but if she wanted to hurt feelings she would have said something entirely different.

"Nothing I haven't seen before."

"If there was something in my hands right now other than fabric, just know it would be hurtling towards your head."

Eden gets dressed silently. Alex drew ber eyes away, for her own sake more than anyone else's.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad for sleeping with people. It's just...hard."

Eden stops her movements for a second, "I know you didn't. You know how I get. It's only been two people. And I'd argue one of them didn't count because he was an asshole, and honestly, I don't remember much of it."

"Do...I know them?"

"We're going to work on your subtlety. No, it was not Adrienne. And I don't even know that other guy's last name. It was a bit after I left Rio. I was Fireball drunk. I think I woke up the next morning and was still drunk." Eden chuckles a bit at that last part. She had a headache that morning, but somehow the Fireball and singular tequila shot were still numbing it.

Eden moves to sit next to Alex on the edge of her bed.

"I haven't spoken to Adrienne in two years. Not for the lack of trying on her part."

Alex couldn't hide the look of pure joy on ber face even if she tried. She had been trying to get rid of that woman since she met her, and in an ironic twist of fate, the bitch did it for her.

"Could you at least try to look like you feel bad for me?" The corner of Eden's mouth perks up despite herself.

"Nope. What happened?! Do I get to finally fight her?!"

Eden rolls her eyes in that 'God, you're insufferable but I love you' way she used to do, and Alex's heart flutters.

"You can't fight anyone, Lex. Don't look at me like that. One, you're...you. Two, it's illegal. Three, US Soccer wouldn't fire you like they did Hope, but that extra, extra long leash you have would only become extra long. Besides, Adrienne is from Compton. She'd absolutely obliterate you. Stop pouting."

"Thanks for the boost of confidence. Anyway, what did she do? The suspense is killing me."

Eden chews the inside of her lip before speaking, "You were right."

That half jealous, half angry look Alex has perfected has made an appearance again, but this time, oddly enough, it makes her feel safe.

"She was a great friend for a while there, then I guess she got annoyed that I still wasn't over you. She stopped talking to me for like a week. I went to her house to see why she was being weird. Then, she kissed me, completely unprompted, and it felt so, so gross. I freaked out and we haven't talked since." Eden fiddled with her hands as she spoke.

Alex was quiet for a span, "I knew she was a psychopath."

The genuine giggle that bubbles in her own throat throws Eden off gaurd before she fully succumbs to it.

"I'm being completely serious. Stop laughing." Alex whines.

"And that's what makes it so funny."

Alex pouts until Eden calms down.

"I know I've been giving mixed signals, but I do want to try this. I can't promise you anything permanent yet but, I miss you. I like spending time with you." Alex smiles softly at the admission.

"I'd like that."

Eden swallows and nods, "When do you go back to that cushy job of yours?" Alex grabs her hands to stop their fidgeting.

"Soon. SheBelieves is coming up at the end of February."

Eden's nose turned up.

"Are you making that face because I have to leave or because you hate that cup?" 

"A bit of both. SheBelieves is so stupid. She believes what? Who even is she?" Eden exclaims dryly. It's one of her favorite jokes, and Alex knows this, so she never laughs. It's not hard, because it's not funny.

"Anyway, you should come to one of the games in Pennsylvania."

"You want me to fly across the country to watch you play in a tournament I care nothing about?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah. Don't sound too enthusiastic. Someone will think you care."

Eden rolled her eyes, "I'll see if I'm free. I better not be bored from the moment I get there from the moment I get back here."

"You'll be with me. Of course, you won't be bored."

Eden just stares at Alex silently.

"Kelley will be there."

"I'm not necessarily sold, but that is promising."

It's Alex's turn to stare blankly.

Eden only shrugs. She gets up off the bed and heads toward the door.

"I'm going to finish that breakfast. You can stay here or you can continue to pretend you're offended. Your choice."

I know if I'm onto you, I'm onto you  
Onto you, I'm onto you  
Onto you, you must be onto me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so much dialogue, but they needed to talk instead of think. I hope I'm protraying the nuisances one would experience in this situation well enough, especially for Eden. Okay kudos and comment!


	6. New Houses

/Take a step outside your house  
And have a look around, it's all the same to me/

Alex flinched as Ashlyn clapped her on the shoulder. Kelley suddenly appeared on her side with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, she wouldn't fall for my distraction." 

Alex rolled her eyes and shook her head. Ashlyn was determined, she would have gotten to Alex no matter what.

"Is there something I can help you with," Tobin passes a ball to her and she rolls it back and forth with the toe of her boot.

She hopes the act makes her look a lot less anxious then she feels. Kelley knew, she always did, but that was because Alex always told her. Ashlyn isn't supposed to know anything, and yet she's acting like she knows it all. It's unsettling.

"How'd it go? With cute model girl?" Ashlyn crosses her arms with a mischievous smile.

"How do you know she's a model?" Alex completely avoids the first part of the question, if not because the second part was a bit more concerning.

"Well for one, I have eyes," Alex glared at her breifly, "Two, it's really easy to open up a magazine. Then Instagram confirmed it for me. Now answer the question." Her eyes narrowed at the forward.

Alex sighed before looking around. If she couldn't keep her personal life from Ashlyn, at least she could keep it from the rest of the team. At least for now.

Save for Kelley, and Tobin, whom has secrets of her own, she's in the clear.

"I think we're on the same page. We talked and I think she's coming up for the tournament." The smile that creeps onto her face is quickly wiped away with a punch to the shoulder.

"That's great, Morgan. How'd you get her to sit down and talk to you?"

Alex squinted as if trying to remember the details in which Ashlyn asked for. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she vividly remembered the circumstances that led to them finally talking.

"Umm...well..."

"Don't tell me you slept with her." Ashlyn shook her head in disappoint.

"Okay, then I won't tell you."

"Alex!"

"What?! It was like muscle memory kicked in! She was just so...there, and you know I have no semblance of impulse control! What was I supposed to do?" In Alex's defense, she often forgot what the fuck she was supposed to be doing when faced with Eden's presence.

"Not fuck her?! God, Alex. Did you at least stay afterwards?" Ashlyn rubs furiously at her temples.

"I..came back." She's slowly picking up where Ashlyn is going with this. In hindsight, she sounds like an absolute asshole. But, leaving when she woke up had been necessary. She needed to clear her head, an excuse to grab them breakfast had seemed smart at the time.

"Jeez, Morgan! She probably felt like a slut! Sleeping with her ex the first day they're back in her life, then waking up by herself. You gotta stop that."

"Stop what?" Alex frowned, she was already feeling remorseful for sort of throwing herself on Eden, but now she feels like an idiot, which is subjectively worse.

"Stop thinking about yourself and how you feel, and instead, about her and how she feels."

"I do think about her."

"Not enough. Look, did she agree to coming to the games before or after you jumped her?"

"After?"

"Okay good, that means for some odd reason you didn't completely scare her off. From now on, when you see her, just talk to her like a normal person. Get to know her. Like a good girlfriend would, and don't fuck her unless she asks you to." Alex rolled her eyes, but nodded anyway. She had the sudden urge to call Eden and confirm any of what Ashlyn said. 

But unfortunately, her job has other ideas.

☆☆☆☆

November 2015

"You just hate the fact that I'm taller than you so much, don't you?" Alex gestured to the woman's nude open toed pumps.

"First of all, you're exactly one inch taller than me. Second of all, I already told you, this has nothing to do with you. My mom bought these for me and she would kill me if I didn't wear them tonight." Eden adjusted her white and silver sweater, then ran her hands over her light wash skinny jeans, "If anything, I'd say you're the one upset about me being taller than you tonight."

Alex pouted briefly before circling around to give her girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek, "Maybe. But, I'm trying to impress your family, and that'll be hard if you're towering over me."

"Love, you're what 5'7? I'm 5'6 and these are 3 inch heels, I am by no means towering over you," Eden placed golden hoops in her ears as she spoke, she turned toward Alex, "Are you ready? Your first Young Family Thanksgiving?"

"Yep! I'm ready to be interrogated by your very large family." Alex smiled brightly. Only being a tad bit sarcastic. She wasn't nervous, maybe anxious was probably a better word. It helped that the dinner was being held at one of the few restaurants open during the holiday, "Am I going to be the only white person there?"

"Are you ever the only white person anywhere?" 

"No..."

"Exactly. Anyways, it's only my mom, siblings, and their families. That's like only 13 people, half of which are under the age of 8. You'll be fine. And not that I should give you anymore insignificant details, but Naomi's husband is white, and Josh's wife is Filipino." Eden takes a break from primping herself to wrap her arms around Alex's neck. She leans in and quickly catches the athlete's lips.

Alex makes a sound in throat, locking her lips with Eden's.

"If something does go wrong, we can just come back here earlier and finish this." Eden pecks Alex on the lips once more before detaching herself and heading for the door.

"C'mon, you're driving because you know I hate it." Eden smiled widely as she tossed the keys to her Audi at Alex. 

Alex chuckled as they headed out the door. Eden locking it behind them.

The 56 minute drive from LA proper to Laguna Beach goes by relatively quickly. If only because Alex likes to speed.

The restaurant is a higher scale Chinese cuisine restaurant. It's safe to say Eden's family is one of like three in the entire building.

Alex holds onto Eden's hand a bit tighter than she normally would as they traipse to the back of the restuarant.

It seems they're the last of the family to arrive, if the almost complete filling of the tables is anything to go by.

Upon arrival both Eden's mother, and Esau stand up. Eden hugs her mother graciously and pats her brother on the stomach. He rolls his eyes good naturedly before turning toward Alex.

He smiles warmly, "E, are you going to introduce us, or were we supposed to do it for ourselves?"

Eden smiled at her brother, then at Alex, her features settling under a dark blush, "Everyone this is Alex, my girlfriend." Her hands start to fidget in front of her. She had breifly mentioned bringing someone to dinner in the family groupchat, but she hadn't been that specific. She can feel each and everyone of her siblings eyes boaring into her.

Esau sticks out his hand, "I'm Esau, the oldest," He pronounces it ie-saw, "And this is my wife, Yolanda, and our beautiful children, Maya, Abigail, and Ryan." Alex shakes it as firmly as possible. There's so many names she's going to have to remember in a short amount of time.

Soon, the introductions make their way around the table. Alex taking in as much as she possibly can. Most she had known from Eden, but she hadn't exactly been able to put faces to names.

After Esau, there's Joshua and his wife and kids, Naomi and her husband, then lastly, Sarai.

Before Alex can sit down she's swept into a hug by a woman. The woman, Eden's mother, is almost taller than Alex, which means that Eden is the shortest person in her entire family (save for the children) and Alex will never let her live that down.

"Oh, Alex. I've heard so much about you." Alex's eyes darted to Eden, whom blushed for the eighth time that night.

"Only good things, I hope, Mrs. Young."

"Of course. And call me Laverne." Alex nods as the woman lets her go. She sits down next to Eden. She places her hand on the model's thigh to anchor herself.

The night went on without a hitch. Eden's family was highly entertaining and it was nice to see the traits that she had that played throughout the others.

Esau at one point did try to interrogate her, but he was joking apparently. Or at least that's what Alex assumed, when everyone started laughing. Esau seemed pretty serious to her. He was also terrifyingly large and intimidating if she was being honest.

She'll make sure not to get on his bad side.

Eden unlocks the door to her house and walks in with Alex trailing behind her. Eden places her purse on a side table then heads toward the couch. She drags Alex onto it with her.

"They like you, in case it wasn't obvious." Alex leans into the corner of the couch, Eden cuddling up next to her.

"It wasn't. So I appreciate the confirmation. I like them too. Also everyone was taller than you even your in-laws." Alex laughs loudly when Eden lightly brings her hand down onto her stomach.

"Don't be upset, it's cute."

Eden rests her head on Alex's chests and closes her eyes. Alex runs her hand along her side softly.

"You're always bullying me." Eden mumbles tiredly.

"No I'm not. It's not my fault, you're short." Alex chuckled softly again.

"I hate you."

"No you don't." Eden doesn't respond, instead she lefts out a very faint snore. Alex watches her head raise with the rise and fall of her own chest. 

"I love you." It's breathy and almost incoherent. Eden is out like a light right after it leaves her lips.

But none of that changes the fact that Alex stops breathing.

/And all this in different houses  
We'll all get what we wish that we pray for/


	7. Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.N. I'm shuffling things around for the cup. Cause I can do things like that. Also Alex's name in Eden's phone is strategic, it's not Eden being formal. Eden knows she hates it.

/Never thought that we would end up here  
Should've known it from the start  
I know you mean it when you say you love me  
But we're trying way too hard/

Eden rolled her eyes as a firm knock sounded at her door. This was starting to get old.

She opens it fully to reprimand Alex only to come face to face with someone completely different.

"Christen? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the team?" Eden hurries to the side, ushering Christen into the house. She looks out the door suspiciously to make sure there's noone else waiting to confront her.

Eden turns back to Christen. Christen smiles brightly at her begore speaking, "Alex asked me to be your escort to Pennsylvania."

"She does know what escort means doesn't she?" 

Christen laughs that light airy laugh that she does. That one that makes you feel a like faerie sprite floating in the wind? Yeah that one. Eden blushes, she's maintained that over the years that if Christen had gotten to her before Alex did, things would be different. And she has a sneaking suspicion Christen is highly aware of that fact.

"Why are you here so early then? It's not for another three days."

It's Christen's turn to blush, "I figured we could catch up before we had to go. I-the team missed you, well those who knew about you at least."

Eden thinks for a moment, "I missed you too, Christen. And I do want to hang out with you, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea. Alex kind of has me on lay away at the moment." She smiles softly.

Christen bites the inside of her cheek, she nods. She should have saw this coming. Why would Alex have asked her to go get her ex girlfriend if they were still ex girlfriends? "I get it. And thank you for telling me now. Let's go get something to eat."

☆☆☆☆

Eden glimpses at her phone for the eighth time since they sat down. Christen eyes her suspiciously.

"Y'know, you constantly checking your phone kind of makes a girl feel like she's not wanted." 

Eden looks up at her apologetically, "Uh, sorry. I was just expecting to hear from Alex by now. She told me she'd text when she got settled. She's probably busy."

Christen nodded slowly, though she didn't necessarily agree, "What's going on with you two anyway?" Her eyes flick up to Eden's face, then back to her half eaten sandwhich.

"I told you. Alex has me on lay away." Eden lifts the corner of her mouth. She watches as Christen rolls her eyes.

"What does that mean, Eden?"

Eden sighs and peers down at her dark phone screen, "We're working on it."

"That was just as subjective as the first thing you said, but okay." Christen gaze becomes annoyed, causing Eden to roll her eyes in response.

"Christen. Can we not do this? I don't want you to be upset with me or Alex. I know this probably isn't how you saw your time here going, but I'm not going to do this passive aggressive thing with you, because things didn't go your way. I already get enough of that with Alex." Eden rubbed the bridge of her nose to stave off the incoming headache.

"Then why are you dating her?" Eden's sure if Christen was anyone else it would have been more aggressive, but the foward simply wasn't the type.

Eden's phone pings with a notification.

Alexandra Patricia Morgan💋: Facetime in half an hour?

Eden sighed thickly, "Because I love her."

Eating Eden🥰😍😋: ...Sure...

"Please don't ask me why? I have absolutely no idea."

Christen stares at her sandwich for a long while, "Do you think you think under different circumstances..." She trails off.

Alexandra Patricia Morgan 💋: Ooh ellipses. I'm in trouble aren't I?

Eating Eden🥰😍😋: yep

"I don't know, Chris. Maybe, probably. But i don't think it's going to dwell on the what could have been. Instead let's focus on the now. Like how we're both sitting here acting like you weren't waiting for me to say no to you, so you could say yes to Tobin. Oh, don't look at me like that. I see the pics. You have exactly zero people fooled." Eden chuckles at Christen's intense blush and wide eyes.

Alexandra Patricia Morgan 💋: well on the bright side, you're hot when you're mad

"What do you think you know?" Christen's eyes narrow in faux anger.

"Oh nothing. Just everything you tell Kelley, who tells Alex, who doesn't have a lock on her phone."

Eating Eden🥰😍😋: I still haven't figured out why I like you. Don't ruin it.

"Eden!"

"What? I don't snoop. Alex is a lot of things, but she's not a cheater. She just has better games on her phone, and sometimes I see Kelley's text notifications. That's all."

"That's not what I'm talking about. Why didn't you say anything?"

"You mean why did I entertain you today? Well, technically I didn't. I told you that we were going to stay friends. And friends have lunch dates."

"Hm. Well, you're right. Though, I'm sure you already knew that. Y'know for a model you're really smart."

The girls laugh at the inside joke, then resume their conversation.

☆☆☆☆

Eden picks up Alex's call on the third ring. She stared at it for awhile debating whether to pick it up or not.

"Hi, Gorgeous." Alex greets with a relaxed smile.

Eden lets herself blush but continues to stare blankly.

"Oh, yeah. You're mad at me. Listen, I'm genuinely sorry. Time got away from me. I went to one of the local parks to kick the ball around with Kelley but then we got bombarded with fans." Alex wipes a hand over her face. Eden looks at her. She's tired, that's easy to tell. She also looks stressed out beyond comprehension.

"Oh, to be Alex Morgan, women's soccer superstar." Eden raises an eyebrow as she takes in the other woman.

"It's a much harder job than you think."

"I'm sure... You made me look stupid in front of Christen."

"No one could ever look stupid in front of Christen." 

Eden sighs, not because Alex has a point, but because she's completely missing it.

"You're missing the point. You said you would text me awhile ago, and like a dumbass, I expected you to text me awhile ago. And I know that sounds so needy and stupid but-" She's babbling. Something that she rarely does, hindsight, it drives some things into perspective.

"It doesn't. I get it. It's not needy or clingy or stupid. I should have texted you at least to tell you I was going to be a little bit late...time got away from me...You're tired of hearing that aren't you." It's not a question, Alex can see the look on Eden's face. She's sure she's said those words so much they don't sound like anything anymore. And maybe now she's starting to get what Ashlyn meant.

"...Yeah. You've been saying it for years." If she was in any position to, she's sure she'd be hiding half her face in her knees.

"I'm sorry. I know I've said it more than you probably ever wanted to hear, and yet I don't think I can ever say it enough."

Eden bites her tongue a bit, "And it's a little too late each and everytime."

"Eden."

"I"ll talk to you later, Alex." Eden fumbles with the phone a bit in her hurry.

"Ed-" She presses the end call button with a shaking thumb and a shuddering breath.

Sometimes she wonders if she's the bad guy in all of this. Maybe this was all her fault. And Alex never had anything to apologize for. Then it all gets thrown back in her face and she feels like an idiot for even entertaining the idea of letting Alex back into her life.

She's drowning again, and she's starting to think that feeling might just be a panic attack. Which, at this point would be more comforting.

/You, you don't mean no harm  
But you're stringin' me along and I don't have the time to spare  
And I, I'm trying hard to breathe  
But you're suffocating me, this time I'm coming up for air/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No flashbacks, because I thought it would be redundant for this chapter. One step forward, two steps back. And yes that Christen thing will come back at some point. Anyway, please comment so i know where you guys might want this to go.


	8. Revive

In a way we are all connected  
Threaded together  
In a way we are all suspended  
Bound going nowhere

"I don't think she's coming anymore." Alex stated as she eyed her unread messages.

"Why not? Is she okay?" Kelley asked. She sat criss-cross on the bed adjacent to Alex's. Her attention half on the television, half on Alex.

"Well, considering that I'm me. Probably not." Alex groaned, the force of it pushing her back into the bedding.

Kelley frowns. She looks at Hope, who's sitting on the hotel chaise reading 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. As if she can sense she's being watched, Hope looks up over her reading glasses.

"Babe, Al needs advice." Kelley whines. Hope rolls her eyes, but she puts her book down noentheless.

"What's the problem?"

"She's bad at girlfriending." Kelley says with a matter of fact lilt.

"Hard to learn how to be a good girlfriend when I can't even seem to be a good person in general." 

Hope sighs, "Morgan. You're not a bad person."

"Then why do I keep messing things up?"

Hope observes the turmoil playing across the forward's face.

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Never stopped."

"Then show her. Make time for her. Show her you care. Listen to her."

"And what if I can't? What if it doesn't work?"

"If you love her as much as you say you do, you'll make it work. It's going to take a lot of compromise on both of your parts. And you're going to have to be patient. You broke her heart Alex. The whole reason you're in this mess is because you let her believe you didn't love her and she's going to have to get used to what that looks like coming from you."

Alex's jaw tensed, then untensed. Everyone had been telling her the same thing. And yet, she had never really put it into perspective. She had quickly fallen into old habits that had placed her into this situation three years ago, no wonder Eden felt the way she did.

"Thanks, Hope."

"No problem. Now please don't interrupt me unless one of you are dying."

"Ever the attentive girlfriend." Kelley mumbled sarcastically. Hope just smiled and went back to reading her book.

☆☆☆☆

Hope frowned as the empty seat next to her suddenly harbored an occupant. She had been looking forward to having the extra space. It was crowded and it seemed she wouldn't have to deal with that.

"She didn't think you were coming." She says simply, her eyes still planted on the game in front of her.

"Neither did I."

"Let me guess. Kelley called you with that fake pouty thing she does? Or the complete opposite, she threatened you!" Hope laughed to herself. Kelley was predictable and for some reason the former keeper liked that about her.

"Actually, that conscience I thought I murdered in cold blood won out. It felt like I was punishing her over something that was probably an honest mistake. I think I've been doing that for a while now."

Hope watches the play on the field a bit more before fully turning to face her new companion.

"Eden, don't try to take everything back. If you ask me I think you made a good decision that night. Someone had to be thinking clearly because it clearly wasn't the rest of us. You both needed the time apart for different reasons and I think she's starting to realize that." Hope then turned back to the game, only to watch as the other team scored.

"I'm just scared, I guess."

"She loves you, you love her. Don't be." 

"Yeah...don't be." If only it were that easy.

"Anyway, this game sucks so, I'll just continue to talk to you. How have you been, Eden?"

"Good I guess. Feel like I should be asking you that question."

"You don't want to hear about old titanium shoulders. I've been fine, I just follow Kelley around and make sure she doesn't die." Hope shrugs. Coincidentally, it's then that Kelley looks up to where they're sitting and smiles softly. She often thinks that Kelley and Alex share some weird psychic connection because, just as Kelley turns back, Alex looks up and the pensive look on her face transforms instantly.

Eden hopes that no one is currently tracking Alex's line of sight because that would definitely change some things for the both of them. And the Morgan jersey she's wearing probably wouldn't help their case.

"Uh oh, she spotted you. She's going to show off now." Just as Hope says the words, Eden swears Alex winks at her.

"Well at least it will liven up this game a bit."

It does. They end up winning if only because Alex Morgan is extremely cocky.

☆☆☆☆

2016

Alex groaned as her phone rang loudly. Or maybe it wasn't that loud. It was just amplified by her five alarm hangover.

She picked it up. It was only a few inches away from where she had passed out on the floor.

It was working off of six percent of battery and Alex felt like she was too.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded like she'd been chain-smoking 3 packs a day since she was seven and had quit cold turkey the week prior.

"Alex? It's Esau."

Alex's eyes widened. The contents of the previous night were finally starting to come back to her.

That's right. Her girlfriend left her, she got black out drunk, cried on her bestfriend's shoulder, then passed out on her hotel room floor. Now, her...ex-girlfriend's (that hurt) older brother was calling her. Surely to ask for her whereabouts so he could come kill her.

"...Hi?"

"Sorry to wake you. I'm not really sure what time it is there, but I just wanted to check on you. E told me what happened." He sounded concerned, but how could Alex really tell? The first time she met him, he joked with her and she was non the wiser.

"You're going to assassinate me, aren't you?"

He chuckled softly, "And where would that get me? In jail. No thank you."

"Hmm. Okay."

"Look, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and to let you know Eden landed here not too long ago. She's safe."

For some odd reason, that is comforting for her.

"That's good...thank you for letting me know. Can I talk to her?"

"I'd be a bad older brother if I said yes. Sorry, Alex."

She sighed. She wouldn't have known what to say anyway.

"Thank you for calling, Esau." She hangs up without another word.

Alex looks around her messy hotel room. Semi empty save for Kelley sleeping in the bed like a normal non-heartbroken person.

It's then that Alex decides even after losing that game, she had never truly never known what losing felt like. But now? Now she could write a book on it.

We're survivors in silver skin  
Shapeless, we move  
Unwinding the wires between  
We don't belong here


	9. What A Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a tad short, but the flashback that was attached to the end of this didn't exactly fit. So you'll get that next chapter.
> 
> Also, I didn't proofread this.

/What a feeling to be right here beside you now  
Holding you in my arms  
When the air ran out and we both started running wild  
The sky fell down/

"I thought you weren't coming." Alex purses her lips to keep the smile burning behind her lips from escaping. She strains with effort, but Eden pretends not to notice.

"I wasn't for a while, then I did some thinking. Which normally, gets me in trouble." Eden's hands are shoved into her own back pockets. She sways back and forth on her tiptoes. She hates to admit it, but Alex's excitement is rubbing off on her a bit. But she'll keep that fact to herself for the time being, she likes to make Alex work for things.

"Sorry, I couldn't make the game more interesting for you." Alex brushed a peice of still sweaty hair from her face. The urge to show off in front of Eden had been Eden's own fault. She had made the mistake of telling Alex that she found sight of Alex focusing purely on the game.

"You don't have to show off for me, Alex. I'm not a team you have to win a spot for." Eden shakes her bead emphatically as she speaks. Alex lets out a dark chuckle.

"Then why does it feel like it sometimes?"

"What are you talking about?" Eden's eyebrows furrow. She's confused in the sense that she's not exactly sure which person Alex is talking about. Though, maybe that was a problem in and of itself.

"Let me take you to dinner." It's urgent. Just as quickly as Eden had finsihed her question, Alex was speaking. Oddly enough Eden doesn't hesitate, she doesn't even think. 

"Okay."

Eden makes Alex shower first, not that she had planned not to shower, but Eden didn't seem to trust her. 

They end up skipping dinner, and get dessert instead. There's a froyo place that Alex happens upon and decides this is the place. Eden doesn't complain.

Eden gets vanilla froyo with toppings that should never go together. Alex thinks it's disgusting but she doesn't say anything because Eden looks particularly proud of her Frankenstein's Froyo platter.

Alex just gets simple chocolate, then adds crushed oreos on top after Eden calls her boring.

The place isn't empty, but there's a table for two towards the back of the parlor. It's not exactly away from the eyes of the teenagers that keep nervously glancing at her, but it'll do.

"There's going to be pictures of us somewhere on the internet in like the next thirty minutes." Alex says, as she picks at her frozen yogurt.

"Well, it's a good thing I look cute today, isn't it?" Eden raises her eyebrows playfully, a spoonful of the frozen treat halfway to her mouth.

Alex wasn't exactly sure what she expected Eden to say. Maybe express a bit of anger at being seen out with her, or maybe a bit of embarrassment as she suggested they eat somewhere else, she's not sure. But she definitely wasn't expecting her to say that. 

Care-free Eden was not. Maybe a bit nonchalant at times and even passive at others, but definitely not care-free. Alex is surprised to say the least.

"You look cute everyday." It slips out naturally. And Alex laughs a bit as Eden attempts to hide her blush behind her cup. 

"Thank you. You are also...nice to look at." Eden curses herself in her head, luckily Alex just laughs it off.

They sit in silence for a few moments.

"I'm sorry. I know you're tired of hearing it, but I really am. You never really know how good you have it until you lose it. Which is unfortunate, because I hated losing you, but it was the wake up call I needed. To stop putting my work before everyone else. Even myself." Alex watches as Eden's fingers fidget with her spoon.

"I forgive you, Alex. I really do."

"There's a 'but' coming isn't there."

"No."

"What?"

"There's no 'but'. I don't think we'll ever get back to where we were, but I'm willing to try." Eden grabs Alex hand to fidget with in place of the spoon. She plays with each individual finger and traces the lines of palm as she waits for Alex to say something, anything back.

And Alex, Alex has never felt any type of intimacy as satisfying as this.

"...Cool..." It's lame. She knows, but she's at a lost for words. Eden does that to her.

"You're so eloquent." It's sarcastic, but not malicious in intent and Alex let's out another small laugh. This one a bit watery.

"I'm sorry. I'd kiss you if we weren't surrounded by...well, people." She looks around and frowns a bit.

"I'd let you." Eden stares at her intensely.

"Do you really wanna know what I meant earlier?"

"Huh?"

"Earlier? I never answered your question. I just sprung this on you before I lost the nerve." Eden continues to plah with Alex's hand, and Alex let's her.

"Oh. Yes."

"I meant Adrienne, and Christen, and everyone that has ever had a conversation with you. And I know you choose me, but there's so many people that choose you that I can't keep up." Eden's hand closes over Alex's. Her fingers intertwined with Alex's.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. And I'm not sure exactly how to fix it, other than reassuring you as much as I can that you're it for me. I haven't spoken to Adrienne in years because she liked me, I just told Christen that and us will never happen because I'm stuck with you. Besides, she's in love with Tobin and you know that. As for everyone else. I can't promise you that people won't like me, but I can promise you that everytime someone tries something I'll tell them that I have an amazing girlfriend who will not hesitate to kick their ass if given the chance. Does that help?" Eden searches Alex's eyes for any further discomfort on the matter.

"A fair bit actually. Though, I don't think I can really help that jealous thing I have going on." Eden resumes her messing with Alex's hand.

"Luckily for you, I'm a bottom and love that possessiveness." She winks and focuses back onto Alex's hand.

Alex's eyebrows furrow. She's thinking about other things now and thinks that's what Eden's plan was all along.

"You look really hot in that jersey, by the way."

"Would you still say that if I was wearing Kelley's?" Eden smirks, she knows the answer, but what kind of fun is she supposed to have if she can't have the Mess with Alex kind?

"Absolutely not. O'Hara is not nearly as attractive a name as Morgan." 

"Alex, you and I both know that made no sense whatsoever, but I'll take the compliment anyway."

"Good, cause I meant it."

"I know. Now, eat your boring froyo. It's melting."

/But you've got stars, they're in your eyes  
And I've got something missing tonight  
What a feeling to be a queen beside you, somehow  
I wish I could be there now/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See it's not all angst. Though, of course, what kind of storyteller would I be if I made it that easy. Kudos and comment pls!


	10. Icarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the contents of this chapter seem abrupt, but they're like that for a reason.

Kind hazel eyes gaze into mine   
And offer their time   
Let's lie together and just be

Alex somehow persuades Eden to stay even longer than she planned to. Eden wasn't really that hard to sway. If you were holding a gun to her head, she'd be willing to admit that she'd cut an arm off for Alex, without hesitation. And, if you were pointing a knife at her heart she'd tell you to push it in because that's what it felt like to love Alex, and she'd do it over and over again.

As she thinks more and more about it she realizes she's doing the same thing Alex had three years prior. Keeping her emotions for the other woman under wraps, to herself, safe. And that was the very thing she hated. She's not afraid to admit to she's a hypocrite, however. 

She'd hate to play trial and error with her heart, but then, Alex smiles and she's not quite sure why she's so hesitant anymore. The constant whiplash she gives herself has become routine, but she thinks, no, she knows, she's ready for it to end. Because what is love, if not sacrifice, and if that sacrificial lamb is her heart then so be it. She'll just buy a new one off eBay if this goes south like the first time. Though, somehow, she doesn't think it will.

And just like that, she's not so scared anymore.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Alex smiles softly. Eden turns to her from her place on the bed. She looks deeply into Alex's eyes, almost as if she's seeing her for the first time ever. There are many things that swim in the grey of Alex's eyes, but one thing stands out in particular. Eden struggles to catch her breath.

"Us."

Alex's eyebrow raises in question, "Uh oh. My heart rate always spikes when you do that."

Eden pauses for a split second before surging forward. Her lips landing on Alex's causes the forward to squeak lightly in surprise. 

"You can do that literally whenever you want, but please next time, at least give me some kind of warning." 

"I'm sorry for making you wait." Eden rushes out quickly.

"What? You haven't been making me wait. You haven't made me do anything. I want this Eden. I want you."

"I'm going to kiss you again now."

"I didn't me-"

Alex's sentence is cut off. The kiss is just as urgent as the first, but there's a sincerity, a passion, that has Alex leaning in for more. Eden releases a tiny moan, as Alex's hand traces down her side. Ashlyn told her not to "fuck" Eden unless she wanted her to, but somehow this doesn't feel like "fucking" and if the insistent tugging Eden is doing Alex's tank top is anything to go by, she definitely wants her to. So, fuck Ashlyn. 

Alex breifly wonders what kind of sex she had been having up until this point. It all seemed lackluster in comparison. 

Because this, this was passionate yet rough, and slow, and hot and cold and every other oxymoron she could think of. 

Being with Eden, in this way, made Alex feel just that much more whole.

☆☆☆☆

"What's got you so happy?" Kelley eyes her bestfriend suspiciously. Smiling was a clear indication that the forward was up to something, of course, she was only ever up to something when Kelley was up to it with her, but the point still stood.

"I can't just be happy?" Alex asked with a partial frown. Kelley was being loud, and it wasn't something she had really talked about Eden. Whether they were dating dating. Whether they should tell people.

"What's this about baby horse being happy?" Pinoe comes traipsing over to the two, she's accidentally on purpose followed by Tobin and Christen.

"I thought we were done with that nickname." Alex pouted.

"Do you still hate it?"

"With every fiber of my being."

"Then we're not done with it yet." Pinoe smiles proudly.

"Fine."

"Oh my God! She really is happy!" Ashlyn exclaims loudly. Alex isn't even sure when she arrived, "Wait. I know that look. That's the same look you had when-You said you wouldn't fuck her anymore!" Ashlyn frowned heavily.

"Her?"

"And I didn't. I didn't fuck her. I made love to her." Alex says matter of factly.

Kelley's face scrunched up, "Alex. That's gay. Like I've never heard anything gayer in my life, and I've talked to pinoe before."

"Her? As in 'she'? As in 'female'?"

"You better be telling the truth, Morgan. You didn't follow the Ashlyn Harris Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend back closely enough so don't be surprised if all of this blows up in your face." Ashlyn pokes a gloved finger into Alex's chest somewhat playfully.

"Girlfriend?!"

"Yes, Pinoe! For the love of all things." Alex slaps her hands over her face exasperatedly.

"Yes. That's another one I get to cross off the list." Pinoe attempts to mumble to herself as she walks off.

Alex just shakes her head. Her phone vibrates and she pulls it out of her back pocket, hoping it's Eden.

It is, but not in the way she was thinking.

It's a twitter notification, which is fine. It seems her fans have found Eden. Which, for the most part is fine as well (they had talked, and Eden was more or less fine with it). What is absolutely not fine is the picture that she was tagged in.

It's a picture of Eden. Probably from a shoot for Nike swimwear or something. Or at least that's what Alex is hoping.

She's in a yellow two peice and she's wet, like she just got out of the ocean, and...and...well Alex doesn't know because she's having trouble thinking.

"Alex?"

Alex continues to stare at her phone.

"Alex?!" Kelley all but yells.

Alex still doesn't budge.

Kelley stalks over to the taller woman. She peers down at Alex's phone, then glances back up with a knowingly and apologetic look on her face.

"I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll just leave you to it." She pats the forward on the arm lightly.

Alex only sighs wistfully.

☆☆☆☆

June 2016

Eden sat with her legs crossed at the ankle and her arms crossed over her chest.

She shrugged the jacket she was partially wearing closer to her body. It wasn't hers and it was slowly starting to feel like it again.

Her black pumps were starting to kill her and her dress was slowly pushing every breath she tried to inhale right back out. She wondered if it was all worth it.

She checked her phone once more. Still no new messages. No missed calls. Just like there hadn't been any five minutes before.

"Ma'am, are you ready to order?" The ever patient waitress asked her.

"Actually, I'm going to head out. Sorry for the inconvenience." The waitress nods apologetically. 

Eden doesn't let her face fall until she's far, far away from the building. It's also the moment her phone finally rings.

"Yes."

"Hey, Babe. I'm so sorry. I got-"

"Caught up." Eden says with a bit of malice.

"Yeah. I promise I'll make it up to you." Alex sighs heavily through the speaker.

"I'm not sure if I even want that at this point."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to hang up on you so I can figure it out."

"Wa-"

Eden hangs up without another word.

If you should fall   
From your pink sky   
Just know you'll fall into my arms, every single night   
Icarus babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many more chapters probably 5 at the least, but this story is coming to a close. Tell me things that you might want to see. Maybe they'll get put into a Oneshot book for this universe.


	11. How You Get The Girl

/Stand there like a ghost  
Shaking come the rain, rain  
She'll open up the door  
And say, are you insane, -ane?/

"Do you ever wonder if we're moving too fast?" Eden's eyebrows furrow. It's an itch in the back of her mind. She definitely doesn't mean it as seriously as Alex ends up taking it, but maybe it ends up being a good thing in the long run. A much needed fire under the ass for both of them.

It's almost been two months since She Believes. She sees Alex less and less with World Cup training amping up (she doesn't blame her for that). And they're still in that wierd 'I know how you feel about me, and I feel that way about you too, okay bye' limbo they had been in. They definitely aren't moving too quickly. But Eden has never really been a stickler for semantics.

"No." It's simple. It should shut her up. It really should and she's not even really sure why she's thinking about this, because she loves Alex and Alex loves her and who the hell cares? And yet.

"But-"

"You gotta stop doing this to me, Eden." Alex's smile lacks it's usual warmth. It immediately puts Eden a bit on edge. She frowns as she looks out the window and into the rainy evening.

"What's that supposed to mean?! What's that supposed to mean?! Fuck, Eden." Alex wipes her hands over her face, ever the dramatic. Though, Eden's might have her a bit beat in that department.

It's easy for Eden to fall into that feeling of annoyance. Not necessarily something she gets from being with Alex, more just a product of her glowing virgo disposition. 

The dark-skinned woman get off the couch with a roll of her eyes. She grabs her windbreaker from the coat rack Alex owns but never uses.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm running away." Eden presents sarcastically. She rolls her eyes as she steps out the front door and into the pouring rain.

Alex comes rushing out after her. In just her t shirt and shorts. Her face full of concern and probably a bit of annoyance as well.

"Why are you like this?" Alex huffed out. 

Eden genuinely laughs, "I've got no fucking clue. If I was you, I'd have me admitted."

"You're too pretty for a straight jacket." Alex brushes the soaked strands of hair from her face.

"Thanks, I guess." Eden squints up at the sky. She realizes why she came outside in the first place.

She's seen the Notebook too many times.

Alex takes a step closer, because she's just as much of a masochist as Eden. And this is what it's like long a martyr.

"I love you, and I want to marry you, and make love to you, and have babies with you, and I just want you. I need you and I don't know how to not. So take me back, officially. Without all the back-stepping. I'm tired of asking. I won't do it again." 

It's raining harder now and they're both soaked, but Eden grabs her face anyway and kisses her. She kisses her like Alex had broken a dam she'd been keeping even her darkest thoughts behind.

And Alex cries, she cries hard, she cries like she did in Kelley's arms all those nights ago.

She cries like she just got the love her life back, even though it seemed like she had her for a while. She wonders breifly if Eden was ever not hers in the first place. And immediately concedes that has to be true because how would she have ever been able to get her back if she had actually left in the first place.

"I love you and I want all of those things too." Eden's arms have since linked themselves behind Alex's neck. Her face tucked into the crook of her neck. 

"Now, was that so hard?"

"Morgan, you have no idea." And she doesn't. And Eden never enlightens her. Though, Eden does have an enlightening of sorts, herself. 

Alex asks why is she like this? And it's because she needed to hear it. Alex had said it. She conveyed it, sure. She showed her, yes. But Alex hadn't explicitly said 'I love you.' And Eden's love language might just be speaking.

It was the root cause of why they had broken up in the first place. No wonder she had been running around backwards this go round.

She has a feeling if they had just talked about that like the normal adults they weren't, that problem would have been solved ages ago. Who knows, it all seems irrelevant at this point to wonder and wish.

They've got each other now. For good.

"Why do you always call me Morgan?" Alex asked as she practically dragged Eden back into her home, safe from the obvious storm they were just makimg out in.

"Not my fault you have two first names. Would you rather me call you daddy?" Eden smirked as she walked away from Alex, and towards the hall closet for a towel.

"I-um-huh?" 

"That's what I thought, Morgan." Eden laughs. She chucks one of the towels toward Alex and uses the other for herself.

"What if I called you by my last name?" It's slightly muffled by the towel draped haphazardly across her head.

"Oh, no. You have to put a ring on it first, Captain." Eden says playfully.

"Challenge accepted." Alex mumbles. Eden eyes her suspiciously, but Alex just smiles and attempts to remove as much rain from her hair as she can.

Alex's phone vibrates in her pocket. She rummages for it, before attempting to adress whatever notification she had just received.

"Really, Alex. We're having a moment here." It's clear that Eden is just messing with her but Alex gives her and explanation anyway.

"Hope is visiting family, so I have to make sure it's not Kelley telling me she burned the house down trying to make cereal." 

Eden just hums in amusement.

It is unfortunately, or fortunately (remains to be seen) not a text from Kelley.

Instead, it's twitter notifications again. And a lot of them.

And like last time, Eden is once again the cause of her everlasting distress. 

It's an older photoshoot, that seems to have resurfaced, or been dug up by her fans (more than likely the latter). 

Unlike last time, it's more of the caption that catches her eye than Eden herself, that isn't to say that she didnt save a one particular picture of her girlfriend in a red two peice as her wallpaper, because she did do that.

'I think I'd be constantly showing off if my gf looked like this too @ alexmorgan!'

"You and my fans are trying to kill me. I'm sure of it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Morgan."

"Well, isn't that convenient."

☆☆☆☆

May 2016

"Why aren't you nervous? I'm nervous, why aren't you?" Alex spoke quickly, a symptom of her anxiety that Eden found endearing.

"It's just your teammates, Alex. Not even all of them. We're just going to a restaurant, Babe. Chill out. Plus I look like this. No one could dislike me in this dress."

"It is a really nice dress." Alex would look over to confirm once more, but she's driving and she assumes they both like being alive.

"Yeah. I wore it just so you could take it off of me."

"You know, distracting me with allusions to sex won't always work."

"No, but it did just now, didn't it?"

"...Yes..."

"Mhm. But on a serious note, I'm not nervous and you shouldn't be either because if they don't like me, we can just leave."

"But they're my teammates. I can't just not talk to them."

"Yes, but they don't have to be your family. They are because you chose them to be, but you can very easily change that if necessary." Eden winks at Alex and pats her on the thigh softly, "C'mon. We're here."

☆☆☆☆

Eden ended up being right. They loved her. Maybe a bit too much. Alex isn't sure Kelley remembered her name by the end of the night.

But she couldn't have hoped for a better meeting. She owes it all to Eden and she knows that, so she tells her, and Eden thanks her with a kiss.

/And that's how it works  
That's how you got the girl/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I lied last chapter. One more chapter after this one, and then we head into the anthology series of Edex (?). So, leave prompts for that if you want. I promise it wasn't supposed to end so abruptly like I had notes for some absolute angst but my hand slipped and the last two chapters happened without me. And tbh, I like it and hope you aren't too mad.


	12. Your Head's Only Medicine

/Heralded as a king before I had a birthday  
With double (double) digits (digits)/

Alexandra Patricia Morgan is an absolute asshole if you ask Eden Damaris Young. Why the hell did she feel the need to score 5 goals in a world cup game. Who does that?

Eden firmly believes Alex only did that because she was there, in France, watching, in the family section, and not because she has any idea how soccer works. Because she doesn't. Sure she played in college, but that was different than whatever the fuck was going on in front of her.

Normally, she'd turn and have Hope explain to her why things were happening. But the taller woman had to go and get a job on her. Which was absolutely selfish on her part.

Hence, she's alone. Well, save for Alex's family who she's sure keeps staring at her like she's a ghost.

She's assuming Alex hasn't updated her relationship status on Facebook yet.

"You can ask. I don't bite, despite whatever Alex has told you." It's a joke. She promised. But it doesn't seem to read that way if the look on Alex's mother's face is anything to go by.

The older woman studies Eden for a excruciatingly long minute, before sighing.

"So, what did that idiot do?"

"Huh?" Someone scores another goal somewhere and the crowd cheers around them, but they stay put.

"Why'd you guys split?" It's a question it seems the whole family is interested in the answer to. And if they had caught Eden maybe a month beforehand she would have told them, with as much animosity as she, and subsequently they, could handle.

But, she promised herself, and Alex for that matter that she'd stop living in the past. It had gotten her into trouble frequently, and things were finally going right for them. Who is she to squander that, simply because someone got curious.

So, she gently shakes her head,"She fixed it," She corrected herself, "We fixed it." And the game goes on.

They win, cause yeah, and Eden claps along with her fellow spectators. Pointedly ignoring the still curious looks she's recieving.

She doesn't meet back up with Alex until late in the evening. This world cup stuff is demanding she deduces.

"Aren't you tired, and shouldn't you be in your room with Kelley?" Eden asked as she flopped onto the somewhat comfortable hotel bed. 

Alex excitedly junped onto it next to her.

"If I say no, can we have sex?" Eden probably would have taken her up on the offer if Alex's eyes hadn't rolled back into her head in the middle of the sentence.

"Can you even remember how to do that right now? You look dead on your feet there, Cap. Scoring 5 goals in a world cup game will do that to you I hear." Eden raised an eyebrow and smirked as Alex started to pout.

"Hey! I'm not as think as you tired I am." Alex doesn't even bother opening her eyes as she speaks. Eden only laughs and rolls her eyes.

"If you can hold your head up for ten seconds, we can have sex. Hell, I'll even strip for you."

Alex snuggled further into the pillow only partially under her head, "I think I'll just dream about it instead." 

"Since you're not awake, now's probably a good time to tell you that I talked to your parents." Eden watched Alex through the mirror in the room as she rummaged about, getting ready for bed.

It was almost comical how the completely spent athlete suddenly popped straight up into the startled sitting position she acquired.

"You talked to my parents?" Alex asked alarmed.

"I was sat right next to them, Alex. It was bound to happen. They kept staring at me and you know I hate being stared at, so I had to say something." Eden sat on the bed next to Alex.

"You let me stare at you." 

"Yeah, but that's because I know you're not thinking much of anything when you do it." Eden huffed as she layed down, bringing her knees up to her chest so she could pull the comforter out from underneath herself.

"Fair. Anyway, what did they say? More specifically, what did my mom say?" Eden eyes the distressed look on her girlfriend's face with an only partially amused smile.

"She called you an idiot and asked why we broke up." Eden answers easily, suddenly feeling a rush of exhaustion herself.

"And what did you say?" Alex seems to destress a bit, as she realizes her parents didn't spill any deep, dark, and embarrassing secrets about her. Not to say that her failed relationship wasn't a sore spot either, it just wasn't as pressing an issue as Eden suddenly knowing things about her that she had planned on taking to the grave.

"Nothing. I just told them that we fixed it. 'Cause we did." Eden leans forward to give Alex a small peck on the lips. 

"I don't think I'm ever going to not feel guilty for doing that to you. Not telling or showing you that I love you." Something just passed Eden's head catches her eye and she sticks to it.

"I don't want it to weigh on you. I forgive you. You should forgive yourself. And no matter how hard it was to admit it, it wasn't nor has ever been just your fault. I've got to remember you're not a mind reader." Eden raises her hand to remove some of the hair that's fallen into Alex's eyes. Her thumb traces softly along her cheek bone.

"I love you." Alex mutters as she desperately fights back sleep.

"And for some reason I find you attractive, so I guess that means I love you too." Eden chuckles as Alex groans dramatically and flops over onto her other side, "I'm kidding. I don't just love you because you're hot. I love you for the sponsorship money too."

Alex pretends to snore obnoxiously loudly. 

"Stop! I'm joking. I love you for you. Now, flip back over you're supposed to start off as big spoon. You know this." Eden yanks on Alex's arm until she rolls back over and wraps the other one around her.

"You always say 'start off as big spoon' implying that sometime in the night we switch places, which literally never happens because you sleep like a corpse." Alex would roll her eyes if they weren't closed.

"Shhh, Al. I'm asleep."

This time Alex does roll her eyes.

☆☆☆☆

They win the entire thing. Because, yeah. Though there were a couple scares here and there.

It's all very dramatic if you ask Eden. Even the part where Kelley jumps like her own height into the air and then at Alex. 

And it slowly gets more dramatic from there. There's crying, there's laughing and clapping. And for some reason, there's Alex jogging toward her while she stands in the bleachers.

Alex gets to the wall and pulls herself up. Eden eyes her curiously as Alex waves her over (well you know, as much as she can while holding on for dear life) to the edge. She climbs over the row in front of her with help from Alex's father.

Alex smirks mischievously as Eden approaches. Eden decides she should be scared of that look because Alex often has horrible ideas.

"How may I help you?" Eden asks cheekily.

"You want my arms to give out, don't you?" Alex asks with an infectious smile that does little to aid her sarcasm.

"I kind of like how they look flex-" Eden is cut off by the strong kiss Alex has almost lifted herself into the stands to give her.

They break apart and Eden smiles softly, "Congratulations, Captain." The fact Alex totally just outed herself in front millions of people is only lingering in the very back of her mind breifly.

"Thanks, I have to go. I love you." Alex quickly jumps down from the railing and joins the rest of her team.

"I love you, too." Eden says softly with a broad smile planted firmly across her face.

And it's true. She really does. And she doesn't have to wonder if Alex loves her back, because she just told her, and if there's one thing that's been consistent about the soccer player in the about four years she's known her, it's that she doesn't outright lie.

It also helps that she kind of just announced it to the world abruptly. Now everyone, not just Eden, knows that Eden Damaris Young is the girl she loves and that's absolutely fine with her.

/I just want to be better than your head's only medicine/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...scene! Hope you guys enjoyed! In other news: What do you want? 1. Hope/OFC, 2. Hope/Kelley? Keep in mind these all already have developed plots. You're just playing the lottery really. 1 is heavy angst. 2. Is mainly comedy. My vote is 1 because it's pretty much already written, but don't let that influence you.
> 
> Also this is in company to another USWNT book, called Petrichor that shouldn't be published that much after this.


	13. Unconditionally~Epilogue

_Walk through this storm I would. I'd do it all because I love you, I love you.___

_ _"Marry me." It wasn't a question, and they both knew that. But, much like she often did, Eden, ignored that and answered anyway._ _

_ _"Haha. You're like so funny." Eden swayed on her feet. Alex would have attempted to steady her if she wasn't just as unbalanced._ _

_ _"I'm being serious." Her words slurred together, but that didn't stop the conviction from pouring into her words._ _

_ _"I know. That's why it's funny. We're in the middle of a club in Las Vegas drunk off our asses and you just asked me to marry you. That's fucking hilarious." Eden sucked in a breathe of stale club air with a grimace. _ _

_ _"So?" Eden still hadn't answered her and Alex was starting to get impatient. And a bit nauseous._ _

_ _"No, Alex. I love you, and I do want to marry you, but I'm not saying yes to you in a dingy club while my blood is definitely 25% alcohol. Besides it's Kelley's bachelorette party, she'd murder us if she found out we got engaged on her night." Of course, it didn't sound that coherent, but the point was communicated well enough._ _

_ _So, Alex drops it. Eden had completely forgotten about it and she had assumed Alex did too. Assumed being the operative word._ _

_ _☆☆☆☆_ _

_ _2 months later_ _

_ _"I want to propose to Eden, but I have no idea how." Alex stared at the green grass in front of her, her hands on her hips. _ _

_ _Kelley kicks a ball that narrowly misses Alex's head, and she doesn't even notice._ _

_ _"Sure you do. You know what she doesn't like, so just don't do that." Kelley surmised. Ali nodded along from her place on the pitch._ _

_ _Alex frowned, "Thank you. That helps so much."_ _

_ _Kelley pouted at the obvious sarcasm._ _

_ _"I mean, like give me ideas. Do I just take her out to a nice restaurant and put it in her chocolate cake, or do I hire a flash mob?" Alex pursed her lips and placed her index finger to her cheek._ _

_ _"She would hate both of those ideas."_ _

_ _"I don't think she would. As long you're not drunk, I'm sure she'll say yes." Ali smiled._ _

_ _Alex nodded subtly, "I already have a ring. I got it in France."_ _

_ _"That was two years ago, Alex." Kelley's eyes widen. She's more surprised Alex managed to keep a secret that long._ _

_ _"Yeah, I take it everywhere with me just in case. It's been burning a whole in my pocket."_ _

_ _"Do you have it with you now? Can we see it?" Kelley practically jumped up and down, almost slipping on the ball now back at her feet._ _

_ _"Yeah, it's in my bag. It probably won't beat that meteor Hope got you." Alex and Ali laughed at the blush on Kelley's face._ _

_ _"Hope has a concerningly large amount of money." Kelley mumbled while admiring her engagement and wedding rings, "I think she gets bored and just goes all out simply because she can sometimes."_ _

_ _"I'm not even sure how you can lift your hand above your head. It's bigger than Julie's." _ _

_ _"It can be seen from space."_ _

_ _"One time Emily looked directly at it and it burned her retina."_ _

_ _"I heard-"_ _

_ _"Okay! I get it! You're all just jealous because my wife loves me and knows I like shiny things."_ _

_ _"I don't know if that last part is something you should brag about, Kel."_ _

_ _Kelley pouted again._ _

_ _As soon as training is over for the day, Kelley, Ali, and Ashlyn (Ali must have told her) rush over to Alex._ _

_ _"We would like to see it."_ _

_ _"Can I at least change first? Damn."_ _

_ _They don't let her change first._ _

_ _Alex dug into the small zip up compartment on the inside of her travel bag. She deftly pulled out a small blue box._ _

_ _She opened the top and the other three women ooohed and ahhed dramatically._ _

_ _It was a simple ring. Eden wasn't really one for flashy jewelry. Flashy shoes? Yes. But not flashy jewelry. _ _

_ _The white gold band held several small diamonds, all leading up to the bigger princess cut diamond in the middle._ _

_ _"It's beautiful, Alex." Kelley exclaimed._ _

_ _"How much was it?" Ashlyn asked with a terrified look on her face. It was beautiful, but it looked so very expensive._ _

_ _"An arm and a leg, but I justified it in my head by saying it was "French Money" and therefore didn't count."_ _

_ _The other women nodded as though that made perfect sense._ _

_ _"So, when are you going to ask?"_ _

_ _"I don't know. I still don't know how to do it. I think I'm just going to wait until the moment's right." The only problem with that is she had been going by that principle for the last 2 years and never found a right moment._ _

_ _It occurs to her that she's just going to have to make a right moment. And that sounded absolutely terrifying. What if she picked the wrong right moment and as a result, Eden said 'No'? What was she supposed to do then?_ _

_ _Kelley noticed the turmoil playing across her best friend's face. She placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Hey. She's not going to say 'No'. Stop thinking that."_ _

_ _"She already did."_ _

_ _"You were both drunk off your asses and you puked like three minutes after you asked. Plus that was my bachelorette party and I definitely would have had Hope murder you both in cold blood. So, in actuality, she saved your lives that night."_ _

_ _Alex rolled her eyes, "Fine. Give me a week." She worked best with deadlines, they helped keep her organized and focus._ _

_ _"One week. I expect to see that ring on her finger by Sunday." Kelley did the 'I'm watching you' gesture and put on the best serious face she could muster, "Or else."_ _

_ _Ali and Ashlyn cosign her statement and Alex realizes she's now locked into this with a long sigh._ _

_ _One week. She can do it._ _

_ _☆☆☆☆_ _

_ _Alex sucked up that entire week like a sponge._ _

_ _She procrastinated like she would back in highschool._ _

_ _Kelley said Sunday. And now it's Sunday afternoon and Eden's hand is still bare._ _

_ _Alex was now just staring at the woman with wide, scared eyes as the metaphorical clock ran down._ _

_ _"Baby, what happened to you helping me with cookies?"_ _

_ _Cookies? Cookies!_ _

_ _She could put the ring in the cookie!_ _

_ _No. That wouldn't end well. Eden would probably eat the entire thing then choke and die. Leaving Alex with no one to marry._ _

_ _Ugh. She ran her hand down her face slowly._ _

_ _"Babe?" Eden admonished. Alex was supposed to be helping her make these cookies Alex had asked for. Once a month Alex would crave a chocolate chip cookie from scratch and Eden would try to teach Alex how to make them, but she always seemed to miss at least one important step. One time the fire department had to be called._ _

_ _"Yeah, sorry about that. I was daydreaming. What am supposed to mess up this time?" Alex wrapped an arm around Eden's shoulder playfully. _ _

_ _"You're not supposed to mess anything up. You just do that on your own." Eden continued her portioning of the dough onto the cookie sheet. She had pretty much done all of it while Alex was staring at her like a creep in the corner._ _

_ _"Yeah, but if I actually learn how to make them, you'll stop making them for me and I won't get to see you in your cute little apron." Alex tugged on the material with a pout._ _

_ _"You make me sound like a stepford wife." Eden smiled softly before turning around to place the cookie sheet in the oven, "Which is odd because we're not married."_ _

_ _It hits Alex like truck. Her heart started to pound out of her chest. This was her chance._ _

_ _She practically threw herself onto her knee, scrambling to get the ring box out of her back pocket. She opens it and holds it out, readying herself for when Eden turns back around._ _

_ _"Wanna change that?" Eden turned with a confused raise of her eyebrow at the question._ _

_ _She stopped in her tracks as she got a look at her girlfriend. _ _

_ _Alex is shaking like a leaf. She's glad she kept the ring in the box because it surely would have slipped through her fingers by now._ _

_ _"Alex?"_ _

_ _"Marry me." It wasn't a question, and they both knew that. But, much like she often did, Eden, ignored that and answered anyway._ _

_ _"Of course, I'll marry you."_ _

_ _Kelley will be happy to hear she met the deadline._ _

_ _ __/I will love you unconditionally/________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is well overdue, and in my defense I didn't know I was going to write it until like four hours ago. If you liked this story, I have like 4 others you can read that I think are just as good. Thank you for all love you guys showed this book!


End file.
